Healing birth trauma with crystals is something that only came into my awareness in recent times. Shiva Lingham to the rescue!
I am lucky to have a part-time job (I call it self-care) in a beautiful shop that has an amazing selection of specialist crystals, so each day I am focusing on learning much more in-depth information about a particular stone, crystal, mineral etc.
Some days I consciously chose, and others a particular crystal finds me.
Yesterday, Annie (one of the mother-daughter pair who put their hearts and souls into their shop and customers) passed me two stones. Both the same crystal, slightly different markings, she said it would be in interesting one to learn more about, especially since it relates to my own personal line of work (fertility and birth work). The Shiva Lingam is a beautiful stone. I sat both stones on the desk as I went about the day. In-between customers, I found out about some of the background.
The stones are collected at one time of the year by the locals, from the muddy banks of the Narmada River, a Holy place in India.
Their physical qualities can be described in great detail, but here I’ll just tell you are formed of a mineral called cryptocrystalline quartz with iron oxide deposits, created a bloody long time ago, and I’ll leave it at that; as the molecular structure of the stone isn’t what I’m interested in sharing (or what sinks in if I’m honest). What I want to share is what happened to me overnight after spending the day with these beauties sat on the desk with the intent to learn more about the metaphysical qualities.
What I am ultimately interested in is their healing potential.
I learned through the day that they are a potentially great as a healing tool for sexual and reproductive systems, both male and female. They are incredible kundalini energy activators, charging the entire chakra system, but my mind goes back to hmmm… fertility.
So, night time comes as per, and I do my usual head-pillow-zonk manoeuvre. Me fully waking in the night is as a rare as Halley’s Comet.
If I do wake, it’s on the hour and there’s some temporary healing crisis going on.
1am and, ping, I’m awake. I’m full on reliving the last birth I had.
Now, a quick update for newcomers to my blogs; I am a mother of four daughters, and a surrogate mother to two more daughters, those of my close friend who needed a little help to carry her babies.
Baby Number One was born after a long hard attempt at delivering her, resulting in a pretty traumatic emergency caesarean section 2 years and 9 months ago. Baby Number Two was a challenging VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean) with momentary shoulder dystocia.
Once her head was out, Baby started pushing and kicking out with her legs whilst inside, and did quite a bit of damage internally. A couple of nifty physical manoeuvres instigated by the calm midwife, and out she came.
As a single women, 9 months have passed and I have chosen not to check out the results of the physical damage, though I did get sent back into the hospital ward by a midwife who, at 4 days post-natal, checked my stitches after I went in with fresh bleeding from the area and fever symptoms. After several hours, and being checked by a few different Midwives and Doctors all confirming that all wasn’t as it should have been down there, for the last cold faced and harsh doctor to totally dismiss everything and declare “well you have just had a baby, you are likely to be uncomfortable.” She went on to ask in a horrible manner what I expected her to do. My tears flowed and I asked for antibiotics (which is so unlike me) and to go home. Also to add that the room on the post-natal ward hadn’t been cleaned after the last lady had left, and I felt that as someone with an open wound and tell tail infection signs was probably best not being examined in a room where the last lady’s bedsheets had just been straightened and tucked back in, and the Quavers still on the floor, as was her post-partum blood loss in the bathroom.
Home felt like the safest place to be. So home I went.
Fast forward 9 moths and I have had a lovely time seeing my friends completed family develop, spent great time with my own children, and have continued to have great support from fellow birthworkers, therapists, friends and family.
I am also aware that I too have a knack for stuffing down trauma and just getting on with life.
But trauma, even well hidden, has a way of rearing its head one way or another, sooner or later.
And for me, that was last night.
I woke and relived the birth; my womb ached, my entire lady parts ached. Neither in pain or pleasure; just like an ache on a cellular level. Like something was stirring that needed shifting.
All of this was happening in a theta state (that consciously awake, but dreamy phase). I am a regular lucid dreamer, so I’m aware of what is going on in my subconscious. I then went onto seeing the caesarean section trauma, witnessed my own 4 babies births, then continued to lie there witnessing a series of mini flashbacks of any sexual violation that I have been through in my life. I lay in my bed crying. Tapping and crying, as you do when you are an EFT practitioner! I couldn’t get past the tears though. I am a tinker for distracting myself, and I jumped out of bed and went downstairs to grab my phone charger.
Gave myself a telling off for avoiding dealing with whatever was coming up, and so got back into bed and pondered what had brought this on so suddenly.
The Shiva Lingam?
I turned on my phone and did a search. The first page that I read was the one that I needed to read.
The words “Removing energetic armour in the sexual/reproductive system” jumped out at me and resonated strongly.
I read the page, turned off the lights and followed Ladytown Mystic’s meditation suggestion. All of it!
I came, I cried, I tapped, I cried, I braved checking out the damage to my undercarriage in a way I had never dared check out since the last baby was born, I cried and tapped some more and I fell back asleep.
Today I continue to ache, in a discomfort kind of way. I have further healing to do, and I will seek help to repair the physical damage, despite not feeling like it was that way before… but I do feel that the cellular memory of my body parts have been acknowledged in a way that they haven’t been previously. I have been physically numb to the effect until now.
Now is the time to shift that fully. Tourmaline, here I come!
Here is the link to the page I found:
Please know that if this blog post has triggered something in you that needs help and support to heal, please do get in touch. Just like most people, I am far better at recognising what needs are to be met in other people than I am my own.
Thank you Annie 😉